Alcohol is the best thing you can drink. Only pussies don't drink. Drinking alcohol wakes up your animal brain. It lets your greed, hatred, and delusion out of their cages and brings your ugly face out for the public. Getting shitfaced with your bros is a great way to build solidarity because it means letting yourself become vulnerable.

Drinking at home with buddies is way better than drinking at bars because you have a free jukebox, cheap drinks, video games, weed or other drugs on hand, and don't need to worry about getting a ride home. Passing out on your buddy's couch or living room floor is what makes you move past being just pals and makes you real family.

Read this article RIGHT NOW: The Zen of Drinking Alone.

Here's a list of some of my favorite cocktails:

• Gin martini – 35% ABV; 3:1 gin (bombay sapphire or better) and vermouth, add some green olives; bitter, complex, strong. Martini is a good drink for intelligent and sad people.
• Boilermaker – 12% ABV; 5:1 beer to whiskey. I pour a shot of whiskey in my glass and refill with beer as I sip.
• The 82nd – 24% ABV; mix cheap vodka with kool-aid, to taste. Add a bit of cough syrup for extra kick.
• ChuCHUG Rocket – 69% ABV; pour twice as much vodak as you can handle into a somewhat clean glass. Chase with cheap fruit-adjacent energy drink and actual bona fide juice.

The best beer of all time is Old German. I used to buy it for $5 a 6-pack in university in the 2010s. Light, crisp; an alchie friend of mine named Mike said “it's a beer that tastes great warm, and you can drink it like water.” He was a buddy of mine that lived in an SRO and didn't have a fridge, the only furniture he had was a small futon and small table. Really groovy guy. At one point, I was drinking at least a 6 pack of it a night. For $20 or $30 (otherwise a cheap night at the bar) you can really get a house party going.

Where Old German can't be found, Busch Light is an acceptable alternative. I was buying 18 packs of the 16oz cans a few times a week back in Bremerton. I had a minifridge next to my desk that was always stocked with the stuff.

My favorite seltzer of all time is Natural Light Seltzer - Aloha Beaches – I cried when they took the shark out of the logo. Peach, mango, sweet, fizzy, all fun.

It's really easy for my wife to drink too much because she hardly drinks and she's a tiny Asian woman. I'd say it takes 4 or 5 solid drinks on an empty stomach for me to get nausea and approach the danger zone. Alcohol poisoning really isn't that bad, and most people don't do anything too bad when they overindulge[citation needed], maybe just get a bit annoying. If you want to avoid overindulgence, try to pace yourself, drink water, eat food… but if you make drinking a hobby, it's bound to happen every now and then, that's just a fact.

If you feel like you gotta puke, you're at a fork in the road. You need to either stop that from happening or make it happen. Life in the middle is the worst. If you want to puke, go into the bathroom, jump up and down, touch your toes and stand up straight, get your tummy and head bending and moving. Take a kneel before the porcelain throne and even take a whiff when your next nausea wave comes. Once you puke, wash up and swish some water around in your mouth. It may seem counter-intuitive, but just letting it happen is the surefire way to feeling better. On the other hand… I find the best methods to suppress nausea to almost be a form of meditation. Deep breaths. Avoid cigarettes and greasy/sweet snacks. Repeat some mantra in your mind. I like to visualize all my feelings of nausea materializing as a shining golden ball in the middle of my head and let it slowly drop into my guts along my spine, at which point it fades away. I don't know why it is, but it works for me, and that technique's worked for my friends I've taught it to. If none of that works, just go lie down on your side and try to pass out. Sleeping on your side means you won't die if you do throw up in your sleep.

My go-to hangover foods: rice porridge, stews and soups, peanut butter toast. Nothing too involved or flavorful. Rice porridge (aka congee, okayu, juk, buber) is always a great food for any occasion, but is really good here for filling your tummy up the right way when it's not OK.